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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24145006">Lens</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LosingInterest/pseuds/LosingInterest'>LosingInterest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Big Bang (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Circa 2017, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, STAY HOME AND READ, of sort, reposting archives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24145006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LosingInterest/pseuds/LosingInterest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seunghyun got a new camera for his birthday and that’s when disaster started in the dorm.</p><p>or</p><p>I quoted, <strong>"We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone"</strong></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./Kang Daesung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s no secret –<em>not anymore</em> –to everyone that Choi Seunghyun loves taking pictures of anything. Mostly selcas with thousand different poses which he would post on his Instagram immediately after deciding which one is the best, something that’s classified as <em>artistic</em>, or views. After all, he loves art. To say it’s only love is understatement as Seunghyun lately has reached the obsessive level of collecting things and trips to art galleries or museums. <em>It’s fun</em>, Seunghyun said. It’s his love, his interest, his adventure, he told everyone who asked. What Seunghyun never really told people –no one beside his mom actually –is that the art he loves so much –too much –is something caught by his <em>eyes</em> instead of his lens. The art he loves so much has a <em>name</em> instead of a creator sign. The art he loves is something he <em>can’t really</em> take pictures of because he’s being forbidden to do so by no other than the <em>art</em> itself. The art Seunghyun could enjoy using mostly his eyes instead of lenses is Kang Daesung.</p><p>***</p><p>Seunghyun had heard the rumor about this new boy got to join the band when he was inside the toilet. He thought that it’s only female trainees and staffs would gossip about someone else but apparently he was proven wrong, or that’s just because this <em>boy</em> was special if not different. He heard not so whispers about tiny eyes, too much smile, not so handsome face, not so built body and finally the singing ability. He wondered how this boy possibly looked like actually, and also if what people said was the truth or it’s just part of jealousy issues.</p><p>Seunghyun didn’t like to speculate and he’s been labelled as both curious and mischievous anyway, so he sneaked out to see the new boy who was sitting alone in the hallway, eyes looking down and his clothes seemed too formal for his own good. From his position, Seunghyun couldn't really see the boy’s face so he took steps closer and squinted his eyes, trying to get a glimse of what people had been talking about for a little while now. On his fourth step, someone tapped his shoulder, causing him to jump in shock and shrieked.</p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>It’s Jiyong, fortunately. Or rather unfortunately since Jiyong was a year younger but had been bestfriend and commander all the same.</p><p>“Eh? I’m just…trying to find my way back to..you and Youngbae.”</p><p>Jiyong raised his eyebrows, finding Seunghyun’s stutters ridiculous but before he could say anything, Youngbae chimed in.</p><p>“’Sup guys?”</p><p>The dragon shrugged. “Seunghyun got lost on his way back to the meeting room, apparently.”</p><p>The oldest of the three grinned sheepishly. Youngbae nodded and started talking about his new ideas that might fit the song Jiyong’s currently writing and Seunghyun’s eyes dared to shift to the newcomer.</p><p>To his surprise though, his orbs were greeted by another pair that’s not so tough as Jiyong’s, or as playful as Youngbae’s, or confused and sleepy as Seunghyun’s but honest and shy enough to make Seunghyun regretted not bringing his dad’s Nikon today.</p><p>They had a silent eyestare contest for just few seconds before the boy bowed quietly and Seunghyun quickly averted his gaze to the now bickering GDYB. There’s no too-bright-smile he saw that day nor that he saw the boy’s face clearly but something inside Seunghyun had decided to capture the moment and saved it in the safest place in his heart and mind for only God knows why.</p><p> </p><p>Days passed and Seunghyun had officially met with the new boy would be joining him in the band <em>hopefully </em>(if they got picked), had figured out about his tiny eyes, too bright smile, and not so handsome face either but somehow deep in Seunghyun’s mind, this boy was just alright, just enough to satisfy his eyes and his heart apparently as he felt a little warmer and closer to home when Daesung –the boy’s name –said what he wanted to eat with voice high but barely came as whisper.</p><p>***</p><p>Seunghyun got a new camera for his birthday and that’s when disaster started in the dorm. The only one enjoying him taking picutres here and there was no other than the maknae. Jiyong had shunned Seunghyun from his room immediately after the taller rapper took a shot of his unfinished lyrics, shoving his friend with too intense glare that made Seunghyun ran away like cheetah. Youngbae, though not as scary as Jiyong, had warned –threatened –Seunghyun about his another cheating on diet plans to be revealed if he didn’t stop his camera flashes. Daesung had made a clear instruction –more like <em>order</em> –for whoever behind the camera to stay at least 10 meters away from him.</p><p>“Hyung, let me try~” Little Seunghyun’s aegyo was too much but Seunghyun gave the camera to him.</p><p>Next thing to be heard was clicking noise as Seungri acted like a pro, taking pictures of potted cactuses. Seunghyun yawned, feel both exhausted and satisfied after hours chasing his bandmates and finally took some pictures of sleepy Jiyong, dancing Youngbae, and rolling eyes Daesung. Seungri was demanding to be taken pictures too, had put his best pose but Seunghyun didn’t take that one because it’s less <em>natural</em>. He’d taken picture of sleeping Seungri instead but the maknae didn’t have to know just yet.</p><p>As he headed toward his room, Daesung emerged from his almost bumped to Seunghyun’s slender figure.</p><p>“Oops! Sorry, hyung!” He bowed slightly, trying to juggle some books, a small doraemon plushie and a yellow banana in one hand. Seunghyun laughed and ruffled his dongsaeng’s overgrown hair.</p><p>The mere act though had brought something that stopped Seunghyun’s heart beat for a second and slowed down the rest. It’s something that happened so fast yet so mesmerizing that Seunghyun highly doubted would ever happen again but promised himself he would keep his camera near and handy later, just in case. It’s a smile that’s looked like sunrise, bright as sunshine, and warm like sunset. The one Seunghyun wanted so bad to capture with his lens and maybe covered his entire wall with different size printed paper version of it.</p><p>Seunghyun only sighed when Daesung walked pass him by to Youngbae’s room, probably for another Japanese reading and learning time.</p><p>At least, his eyes had capture that precious moment and Seunghyun took a mental note to ruffle Daesung’s hair again a bit later after the maknae got bored with his new toy.</p><p>***</p><p>Time passes by and controversies come and gone. Things had became quite hard and situation became harsh, but they’re still <em>five, friends, and family</em>. And then the news comes, all of sudden and takes away Daesung’s smile, laughter, and life. Daesung’s body flies back to his parents’ house but Seunghyun is sure he left his soul on the street that night just right at the spot he slammed his feet on the brake at the moment he realized he just stepped over a human being not the rocky road.</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you,” Seunghyun breathes out to the empty room. The empty bed, the fading scent, the void sound make everything seems like a dream to Seunghyun but the small Doraemon figurine standing on the make up table comforts him.</p><p>“I miss you, Daesung,” he says a little louder and clutches the mere piece of photograph with a smiling, grinning, leaning-on-Seunghyun Daesung in it tighter, savoring each second passes without the angel. Seunghyun closes his eyes and Daesung appears within second, his eyes glint with some shyness, just the way he greeted Seunghyun at their first <em>official </em>meeting, just the way Seunghyun choose to remember him, the image Seunghyun keeps and wants him to be.</p><p>Because the distance, cold, quiet Daesung scared Seunghyun, a lot, a little too much that he felt like everything he had captured with his lens might be just a myth, just something Seunghyun <em>wanted to believe</em> about Daesung.</p><p>
  <em>Something he wanted to see about Daesung.</em>
</p><p>What scares him the most though, is the fact that he knows it’s not, he understands it’s not a fake or just perception, but a changing of thing that could be their friendship, their carreer, their way, their future, their dreams, their hopes, just anything about them, between them, and that’s <em>terrifying</em>.</p><p>***</p><p>“Hi,” Seunghyun stares at his feet. “Welcome back.”</p><p>He can feel a glare from his side, most likely Jiyong, but he can’t lift his head to meet Daesung’s gaze. The younger, however, chooses not to do anything about it but brushes it off like he understands the hesitation, confusion, fear, and desperation inside Seunghyun, radiating from Seunghyun. Although Seunghyun himself doubts that anyone would understand.</p><p>“I’m home, hyung,” Daesung smiles softly, not that Seunghyun sees but still, he does that though not the same as it used to. “Miss me?”</p><p>Seunghyun nods subtly, shouting <em>so much</em> inside his head and Youngbae gives him a playful shove so that he walks toward Daesung and wraps his arms around the singer. He can feel his dongsaeng stiffens in his embrace but eventually relaxing when Seunghyun draws circles on his back. Seunghyun inhales the sweet scent that belongs to Daesung and his mind stores them to memory as much as his eyes captures the moment of slight intimacy. Daesung sighs against Seunghyun’s shoulder, the air is transparent but enough to color Seunghyun’s heart, to plant the very thought of <em>Daesung is back</em> in his head that Seunghyun breaks a silly grin on his face.</p><p>He hears footsteps behind him that instead of approaching rather walking away and Seunghyun thanks the fact that Seungri isn’t present just yet or else it would turn into a group hug. Daesung pulls back a little and looks straight into Seunghyun’s eyes without giving the latter chance to back or run away, to think and breathe out, to speak or do anything else beside just staring back at him. That’s when Seunghyun curses himself mentally for not having his phone handy because the look in Daesung’s face, the expression he’s making is precious, delicious, so obvious that makes Seunghyun wants to cry right here and there because of the realization that hits him in second.</p><p><em>It’s you, It’s Daesung,</em> his mind whispers and Seunghyun had never been so sure in his life. <em>It’s him.</em></p><p>***</p><p>Time flies, technology grows and Seunghyun finds himself growing affection upon his new smartphone, or most likely, his new kind of camera. It has blitz and such features for editing that suits Seunghyun’s liking.</p><p>“Hyung,” Seungri whines. “Stop it!”</p><p>Seunghyun chuckles but the snap follows anyway. He grins at the new 529KB file just restored in his phone memory that he will definitely share with the leader later.</p><p>Daesung’s laugh makes Seunghyun turns his attention almost immediately from the maknae to the smiling angel. It seems that one of the coordi noona just threw a joke. He’s on the make up chair and there are also three or four of their crew surround him also laughing, but Daesung’s laughter is the loudest, sweetest, most obnoxious, and the only one that takes Seunghyun’s ability to breathe away. Unconsciously, he lifts his phone to aim at the younger man just as Daesung throws his head back and tiny eyes disappear, mouth wide open, hair jet black and bangs not covering his face nor ears.</p><p>Seunghyun doesn’t know how many picutres he had taken of Daesung in that short three or four minutes before the singer realizes it and covers his face with his hands, shouting to Seunghyun <em>Yah!</em>. Seunghyun doesn’t know he’s been holding his breath for how long until Daesung rushes from his seat to take Seunghyun’s phone from his grasp, scrolling to see what pictures Seunghyun had taken. Seunghyun doesn’t know what to say when Daesung pouts at him, saying that Seunghyun can’t take a picture of him without make up. Seunghyun doesn’t know what to do when the younger male snaps a picture of him with his own phone as revenge and says that he will show the world this picture of <em>bingu face </em>Seunghyun –eyes wide and mouth open like Seunghyun’s in trance or something –if he ever have SNS account one day.</p><p>All Seunghyun knows and can comprehend at that moment is a regret and disappointment that he turned the camera on instead of the video recorder feature because Seunghyun would love to listen to Daesung’s laugh again and again and now he can only imagine it in his head while looking at those pictures he’d taken.</p><p>“You’re a rapper, not a photographer, hyung,” Daesung hits his arm playfully as he hands Seunghyun his phone back.</p><p>Seunghyun grins childishly and shrugs. “Why can’t I be both?”</p><p>Daesung snickers. “You can, just don’t make me as an <em>object</em> for your newfound hobby.”</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Seunghyun bites his tongue from saying anything and instead captures another picture of his dongsaeng with his eyes and stores the memory in his brain.</p>
  <p>***</p>
  <p>“You’re being obvious,” Jiyong snickers from the sides and Seunghyun shushes him with a glare, doesn’t even put up a fight about it. “So Youngbae has been right.”</p>
  <p>“I don’t need to know what you two had been gossiping about,” the elder finally puts his phone down after secretly taking pictures of the oblivious Daesung –just four or five pictures, too small amount for a day –and reaches for his cigarette.</p>
  <p>“But you <em>want </em>to know,” Seunghyun catches Jiyong’s smirk right before he put his best poker face. “You’re <em>curious.</em>”</p>
  <p>Seunghyun mutters a <em>fuck you</em> and Jiyong can’t help but laughing at the childish retort.</p>
  <p>“Daesung won’t be <em>stupid</em> forever,” Jiyong says after a while and Seunghyun smacks his head <em>literally</em> because Daesung is only a meter away from them now as the singer stands in front of the mirror to fix his hair. “Tell him.”</p>
  <p>“Or what?”</p>
  <p>“Or just be miserable for the rest of your life.”</p>
  <p>Seunghyun looks at Jiyong, expecting the mocking expression but he’s greeted with something even more complex. Something between amusement and encouragement, although there’s a slight laughter and snicker under it.</p>
  <p>“Seriously, you two,” the dragon shakes his head at Seunghyun’s silence and leaves to mess with Seungri. “Kids.”</p>
  <p>Seunghyun wants to ask him about it but Daesung is walking toward him with big smile on his face and Seunghyun forgets everything.</p>
  <p>***</p>
  <p>“Can I post a picture of us?” Seunghyun nudges the sleepy Daesung and the younger male yawns.</p>
  <p>“Why?” Daesung leans back on his seat and closes his eyes, ready to snore.</p>
  <p>Seunghyun pouts and turns off his phone as the stewardess smiles at him. “Because I want to?”</p>
  <p>Daesung laughs softly, sleep is catching up to him and Seunghyun understands that fully. “Okay.”</p>
  <p>"Okay?"</p>
  <p>“Okay, later. Now let me have my beauty sleep so I’ll look good in <em>your post</em> later.”</p>
  <p>“You always look good,” Seunghyun breaths quietly after a while, Daesung is already in the dreamland. “Always.”</p>
  <p>He doesn’t hear a respond from the singer beside him but pretty sure a laugh comes from the maknae sitting behind them. Seunghyun doesn’t get the opportunity to question Seungri because their plane is about to take off. The matter gets forgotten after 5 minutes when the sandman also drags him to sleep, mouth hangs open, head pressed against the window and hand unconsciously find Daesung’s, fingers intertwined.</p>
  <p>***</p>
  <p>There are times when Seunghyun felt that it’s not right. There are countless nights of thinking about deleting the <em>gigabytes</em> of Daesung in his phone. There are so many days and moments of Seunghyun <em>wanting</em> to erase the feeling inside his heart.</p>
  <p>There are moments when Seunghyun turned his phone off and closed his eyes, pretending to fall asleep so that he would stop taking images or videos of Daesung, literally and mentally.</p>
  <p>And there are also times like this when Seunghyun is alone and giving up to the temptation, the desire, the longing that he would watch those pictures being set as <em>changing every 30 seconds screen saver</em> in his laptop, replaying it again in his head even after he turned the device off, even as it’s almost midnight.</p>
  <p>Because it stays there, lives there, the art named Daesung that was captured by Seunghyun’s cameras, taken in memory by Seunghyun’s eyes and had snatch a hold of Seunghyun’s heart in return.</p>
  <p>***</p>
  <p>“What are you looking at?”</p>
  <p>“You,” Seunghyun shoves his phone in his pocket quicky before Daesung can get any closer to see it. “I was looking at <em>you</em>.”</p>
  <p>“Pretty sure you’re not,” Daesung makes face and walks away. “Judging from the wide smile on your face, it’s probably some porn you downloaded from the internet.”</p>
  <p>“It’s not,” Seunghyun jogs to catch up with him. “I’m not Seungri!”</p>
  <p>“You two are Seunghyun,” the younger male shrugs and pushes door open. “What else could possibly make your face turned red, hyung?”</p>
  <p>Seunghyun grins sheepishly. “You?”</p>
  <p>Daesung laughs and Seunghyun tells the very truth. “I was looking at your pictures.”</p>
  <p>“You keep my pictures?”</p>
  <p>“Yeah,” Seunghyun bites his lower lip. “I do.”</p>
  <p>“Since when?”</p>
  <p>“Since forever?” the older male inhales deeply as they sit down on the loveseat in the corner. “I have pictures from our pre debut days too.”</p>
  <p>“No way!” Daesung exclaims but his cheeks are red and the butterflies in Seunghyun’s stomach awoken. “Show me!”</p>
  <p>Seunghyun counts to three and hands him his phone.</p>
  <p>“Here,” he says softly and Daesung scoots closer to take the device, eyes in disbelief. “I like looking at you.”</p>
  <p>Seunghyun is sure as hell that he’s even redder than tomato now but Daesung is also not in better state as he struggles to find words to say.</p>
  <p>"Really, hyung?"</p>
  <p>Despite his attempt to not to, his mind takes another mental picture of Daesung with soft smile, holding his phone and staring at the screen which is showing the picture of him during his solo stage, Wings.</p>
  <p>“Yeah, really,” Seunghyun lets him scroll through the rest of his collection, his throat is dry. “Really.”</p>
  <p>Daesung shifts his gaze at him and there is something in his feature that no lens could ever capture, no eyes could ever take image of. “Hyung, I-“</p>
  <p>“Are you ready?” Jiyong shouts as he enters the room and it jolts the two.</p>
  <p>Daesung swallows hard and nods, his eyes search for Seunghyun’s, sentence caught in his throat.</p>
  <p>“Yes, we’re ready,” Seunghyun smiles.</p>
  <p>Ready to capture another moment of Daesung, another moment <em>with</em> Daesung. Ready to take picture of him without filters, ready to catch mental images of his dongsaeng without hesitation and secrecy. Ready to let his lens focusing on the times passes, ready to have his eyes witnessing every single thing happens.</p>
  <p>Yes, Seunghyun is <em>ready,</em></p>
  <p>Maybe soon, Seunghyun would be ready to tell about everything those lenses had captured, of what his eyes had taken mental pictures of, of what his heart and mind had saved deep inside, of what he's been wanting, needing, <em>hoping</em> about for so long.</p>
  <p>Until then, Seunghyun will keep his phone handy, will open his eyes wide, will make sure he is by Daesung's side....because what else he can do about being in love with someone who doesn't enjoy camera so much, right?</p>
  <p>***</p>
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